Last Post for this Chapter

Dragon fruit plant

   For my last Saturday in Thailand I got to do something that is fast becoming one of my favorite things. I got to take a truck up a mountain and visit with the villagers at the top. I love that. I love the beauty of the clouds and hills. I love the green of the fields and trees. I love the uncrowded, unpolluted, simplicity of mountain life. I love sitting around on the floor of the huts, salas, and three-sided buildings. I love eating dragon fruit and bananas right off the tree. I love the kindness of villagers, and stopping speak with a woman on her way home from work in the fields with two children in tow. I love the afternoon snack of boiled sticky rice mixed with coconut milk, peanuts, red bananas, and sugar.

   It has been such a privilege to have the opportunity these last few months to meet so many sweet people and get to share life with them, if even for a short time. Uncle, the man we went to visit yesterday is about 70 years old, paralyzed, and alone. He has no relatives, no children, no friends really. He lies on the floor of a shack with three sides. He calls out to those walking past when he is hungry. He has laid without being washed for about four years. On our first visit to care for him we found him surrounded by smelly old clothes and filth. We bathed him, cut his hair, clipped his nails, and changed his clothes and bedding. A sweet co-worker and friend of mine used her nursing skills to assess and care for him. He seemed to be pleased with the outcome and feeling refreshed. A co-worker of ours, native to this village, who had a heart to help this man arranged with the village leaders for a volunteer to come once or twice a week to wash this sweet man and clean his hut.

   This trip was to check on his progress and whether the caregivers were feeling okay with how things were going. Uncle seemed much more engaged this visit. He kept reaching out to hold our hands. He spoke in Shan to our co-worker who translated for us. He said that he was so happy we came back to visit, he said that he feels good but a bit lonely, he doesn't have many visitors. When he heard that we were coming to visit he was very excited. He even asked that we cut his hair again. So, we clipped his toenails, checked for skin break down at pressure points, cut his hair, and smiled often. He delighted in attention, in people who made a special trip up the mountain just to see him. He enjoyed feeling like he mattered to someone in the world. I didn't want to leave him... there... alone. I wonder at his story, where he came from, who he is inside.

   "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." At the end of my time in this place, saying goodbye to people dear to my heart I still say, "It is better to have loved." Because we loved...leaving hurts. Because we loved, the thought of not seeing our kids grow up hurts. Because we loved...the tears fall as we say goodbye. The pain means that we loved. However, that love is not lost. It is held in the hearts of everyone who received it. Maybe they won't remember us for long, but hopefully they will remember that they are loved. Maybe that paralyzed man won't remember us cutting his hair, but hopefully he'll remember that someone loved him. Maybe the children we held, taught, and played with will grow up with a knowledge of what love is. No, we haven't lost. We are forever changed for the better by the people we have loved and by the people who have loved us. I will always love them so long.

Please Don't Forget

   "If Partners didn't help us, we wouldn't make it." She told me this as we sat under the green trees in the mountains of northern Thailand. She said it sincerely and with gratitude. She and her husband care for thirty-three children in one of the children's homes that Partners helps support. She has three children of her own and thinks herself old at 33 years of age. The children at this home expressed gratitude for the hygiene supplies we brought yet mostly I think what they appreciate is food. In their homes and villages there is often not enough food for everyone and so they know what it is like to be hungry. Even at this home there is sometimes not quite enough. The children know well how to dig up and find things in the jungle that are good to eat. These are not people who have plenty and who don't really even notice an extra dollar. For these people absolutely every dollar goes to meet a practical need in their lives. Most of them know what life looks like without that help. They give generously of what they have, little though it may be. A statement I heard often was, "We just have a lot to talk to God about." They believe that He is a big God and that He will come through for them...because He always has, through people like Partners who get involved in practical ways in order to show the love of Christ.

   This was a similar story that I heard all over the mountains. A story of not enough, of no opportunity, of hopelessness. Yet for the people I spoke with, knowing the Lord had changed that. The Lord had brought them out of addiction, out of refugee camps, out of despair. They follow Him. They care for others often when it means sacrifice for themselves. A family of five (caring for the 33 children of this home) living off of 5,000 baht ($167) per month decided to split that income with a family of three with a baby on the way. They do this so that the other family has a chance to survive as well. They help meet needs in each other's lives.

   One boy, about 15, is a hard worker, smart, responsible kid. He takes care of others and does more than his share. His parents have told him to his face that they don't care about him. That he's not worth anything to them. This breaks his heart. Who would be strong enough to take that? Yet, he continues on with a good attitude although often in great sadness. I asked what will happen to him when he finishes high school. They said, "Oh, nothing. He has no money, his parents don't care, and he doesn't have the chance to go to school after that. He'll just go back and try to find work." They would help him if they could, but it's impossible for them. What would be so little for someone in the States would mean the world to him. It would open up the world for him. He's not the only one.

   About a month ago three boys from this home who had finished high school showed up in Chiang Mai. They came to woman I was working with and told her, "We have no money, we have nowhere to live, we have no food, and we have no idea what to do. But, we trust God, we want to help our village, we want an education. Is there anyway you can help us?" She did, because she's a generous woman who loves God and wants to be His instrument in anyway she can. She let them stay with her, she fed them, she enrolled them in school, she helped them find a home, she paid their fees. These are the first generation...she can't support them all. How will the rest survive? Who will help them?

 This is the girl's dorm. Above: inside Below: outside

 These are the children who live at the home.

 These are the three bathrooms for the 35 people.

This is their kitchen and dining room. The floor is made out of bamboo and I completely thought I was going to break it. 

   The beautiful, strong, kind caregiver of the 33 told me several times as we were preparing to go, "Don't forget us." "Please pray for us." "Please don't forget us." Somehow they know, that most of the world doesn't know their plight. They know that people who do know often go back to their comfortable homes and forget about the children here and the things they've seen. Lord, please help me never to forget. Please help my heart to always break for the hurting. Please don't let me stand by and do nothing. Please always help me to act in Your love with Your strength.

Sweet Beads

Last week, I was asked to be a translator for a short term team to a children's home. That was mostly because I happened to be the only one available and I enjoy working with kids. However it happened I'm so thankful for the chance to get to be a part of the kids lives for a eight days. We packed our bags and drove the winding road to the middle of nowhere. It also happened to be (in my opinion) the prettiest place I've ever been to. We shared three squatty potties and one bucket shower with twenty four kids and five adults. We met sweet people who have chosen to love these children and work for their freedom. We were blessed by the stories of how the Lord has been working. We were amazed by the children's hard work and skills. We were honored to get to love on them and share in their life.

Early in the week I noticed two boys that I was sure were brothers because their faces were so similar. I noticed the older boy because he had a gentle face and calm manner. He seemed different than the other older boys. It wasn't until later that it was pointed out to me that they also had the same face as one of the farmers who lived in a small shack next to the kitchen. The farmer was deaf and couldn't really communicate easily with others yet he had the same gentle and thoughtful manner as his son. The mom is nowhere to be found, I don't know what happened to her.

On the last night the girls that I had come with shared beads and string with the kids. We did a little lesson about colors and English words and then let the kids make necklaces. I watched the kids wondering how they would enjoy the activity. I thought maybe the girls would enjoy it but the boys would rush through. However, all the kids from the oldest to the youngest boys and girls all spent at least one hour creating masterpieces. They carefully chose each bead and strung them with care. Then the "mom" of the home came over and began to make a necklace with the kids. However, when I saw the sweet farmer dad come and start carefully creating his own jewelry my heart was softened. I realized that these adults who work so hard to create better futures for these kids came from backgrounds more humble than the kids. They've all had to fight to survive. It was the first time any of them had ever had beads and had the chance to make something of their very own. After a bit, the kitchen helper, who lives at the home with her three year old son, joined in the fun. At one point I caught the farmer's eye and he proudly showed me his string of beads and gave me a huge grin.

They don't have much, and what they do have they worked hard for. The kids have planted three large fields, two corn and one rice. They go to school everyday and then come home and work the fields, do homework, play sports, sing, or dance. They are full of life and energy. They really help each other. Several times the older boys would be holding the littlest boy as he slept during the evening worship time. It was beautiful to see the Lord's redeeming work in each of their lives. I pray that their futures are as bright as their smiles.