Justice and Love

You know those great "ah ha" moments when something happens which truly make you believe that God knows your situation and He made something happen for the sole purpose of encouraging you? I had one of those today that I wanted to share. Last week, during one of our Bible study times we had a conversation about how sometimes it is hard for us to reconcile the God of the Old Testament with the God of the New Testament. No matter how it might seem, it is the same God in both places and during the whole of history He has been both fully just and fully loving. I was reminded of how God often accomplishes things that are completely impossible to us. I have a student whom I love dearly. This student is very challenging and needs a lot of redirection and discipline. He has challenged me daily since my arrival. During one particularly good conversation with him several weeks ago I tried to explain that I love him and that is the reason why I do not let him behave in inappropriate ways. Everyday after that the thought would come to mind, "You told him that you love him, now you have to prove it, when he listens and especially when he doesn't." This week I realized how great a struggle I have to be both fully just (disciplining and not accepting wrong behavior) and fully loving (encouraging and supporting). In my mind I know I discipline him because I love him, but I'm not sure of the best way to communicate that to a seven year old whose heart language is not English. I know that if my manner or response to his behavior is just but not from love I am not doing what God has asked me to do. Because of this student I realize this immense struggle between justice and love. I am so thankful that God is more than able to be fully just and fully loving. I am thankful that Christ paid the price of God's justice so that I do not have to (because I never could). God is able to fully extend His love to me because justice is already served. Getting to the "ah ha" moment. I was concerned that this student might doubt my love for him because of the punishment he constantly faces. (Side note: This student at the very beginning would not even speak to me, for weeks he would not respond when I talked to him. Only a couple of weeks ago he responded to my greeting of "Good Morning" with a "morning." He often just comes near me even though he wouldn't respond to anything I would say.) So this morning I went to school determined to make a special effort to talk with him or just use any opportunity to love him. I got out of our car and went to grab my bag. This student and his siblings climbed out of the car behind us and he came running over to me and gave me a big hug (first time he has done that). I truly felt as if God heard my prayers and was telling me that my efforts to be completely just and completely loving have and will fail but that is okay because His power is perfected in my weakness. My student knows I love him and knows that he will have consequences for bad choices. He (my student) accepts me even with my flaws and we can both learn and grow together. (Which coincidentally is similar to our class verse. Ephesians 5:8b,10a "Walk as children of light, trying to learn what is good."