But seriously, today, while laminating sticker sheets for my students' desks to encourage better listening and careful work I made a mistake...I thought. I thought if I just cut off an unused part of the laminating sheet I could save a half a sheet (laminating film is quite the commodity over here). About a half a second later when the paper was all jammed into the whining machine my heart dropped. In trying to save a half a sheet of paper I had ruined the machine. After a confession of my mistake to my kind roommates and my efforts at yanking an extremely hot piece of plastic out of the unyielding jaws of the laminator, I finally succeeded in righting my wrong and I breathed easy once again.
As this happened for some reason my mind made the connection between my obstinate laminator and my obstinate self. Sometimes (or most times if I'm honest) I think I know what is good for my life, I think I know what is best, I think I know how I can serve in the way the Lord desires. And then it comes crashing down around me what I thought would be good actually ends up causing more problems. Mostly because it is centered around myself instead of the Lord. When will I learn to wait on the Lord? When will I learn to follow at His pace? When will I learn to trust that He is faithful, that He loves me, and that His plan is good? I would like this lesson to only appear once (too late for that) and I would like to master it in about an hour (too late for that too). Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. God takes His time in growing us because He cares how we turn out, and possibly because we struggle a bit in the process. We are His workmanship, the clay in His hands. It is our purpose to submit to His design, to be willing, to be still.
Maybe if I learn to trust and obey I'll make it through the "laminator" of life and end up on the other side useful for the purpose I was created for. I'm so thankful that the Lord's grace covers my sin, my efforts, my mistakes, and my "successes." I'm thankful that it is through His strength and ability I am made into a vessel for His use.
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