Dreams...

This last Monday night while at my boss's house for dinner, an interesting topic came up. We were talking about how someone told my boss before he moved out here, "That is so great that you get to fulfill your dreams." We began talking about whether this (our living and working in Thailand) was our dream for our lives. My boss explained his feeling as, "I enjoyed my last job but it was not deeply satisfying. I do not enjoy this job, but it is deeply satisfying knowing that I am doing what God desires." I think that explains it pretty well. This feeling is a little hard to explain, especially without a lot of background information so please do not misunderstand. I do not want this to sound as if we wallow in the fact that we live and serve here, because we know this is something that we do not have to do. We do it because God desires it and we desire to please Him (and He deserves our obedience). I do not want it to sound like self-pity because we are thankful for this opportunity and know that many people, even if their hearts desire it, are not able to move to another country following God's call. I do not want to sound like it is miserable because I love my students and enjoy teaching them. I merely mean to share with you a struggle that I face: desiring God's will no matter what, especially when it is not my "dream" and purposing to obey it when it is revealed. Right now, life over here is a temporary thing - however long God desires - but what about next year and ten years from now? Where is God calling me? I'm learning to believe the following lyrics:

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

Francesca Battistelli - Letting Go

They're telling me they're concerned for the way I am living
That I'll miss it all why would I think that God is that trusting
I can't explain all the words He has spoken to my heart
Why'd I want him more

I don't regret choosing You
And I'm not ashamed
That it's You who holds my heart

Why do we think if we trust God too much He will fail us
Nothing has come when I chose that it's in me I'd trust
Separate me, You have called out to follow You blindly
I won't fear You're leading me

You have shown my ever wondering heart what love is
What on earth is more important than to have all of you

Barlow Girl - I Don't Regret

After all, this life is not about dreaming up the life I desire and then working towards gaining that life. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me." Galatians 2:20 I am learning to live by faith: wherever, whenever, however, and with whoever.

Back to the Monday night conversation for a minute. One person said that they had seen on Facebook a half-marathon that all their friends had run in in the States. This person was feeling a little bummed that they had to miss this (and so much more) and my boss said, "You know Satan is in it when you are jealous other people are running in a half-marathon." At which we all burst out laughing.

This week we have carried on with our lives knowing that this is what we desire: to be transformed to look more like Jesus Christ, however our loving Father may decide to accomplish that goal. Trusting that whatever He calls us to is good and that we are safe forever in His arms.

First Week of School!

The School of Promise had its official first day of school Monday! That is such a huge praise! All those hours of scrubbing, painting, building, and planning have finally paid off! I now find myself in a much more challenging role, that of teacher. I am again getting used to the fact that during the day I have five small people who depend on me to teach them and love them. Children who I remind to wash their hands and whose skirts I continually fix because they are about four sizes too big. I pray that I can teach them to speak and understand English, add 2 +2, and know how a plant grows. But even more than that is the responsibility to share with them about the Lord, to speak grace and love into their lives, and to trust the Lord to cause hearts to soften and change. It is times such as these that I see how inadequate I am and how desperately I rely on the Lord's strength.

This poem by Amy Carmichael has been an encouragement to me recently.

God of patience and endurance,

Steadfast as the steadfast stars

Stands Thy promise, Thine assurance

Unto Thine ambassadors:

"I, thy God, will strengthen thee...

Where I am, there thou shalt be."

Lord, we would endure; O sift us

Clear of weakness; make us strong.

Lord, we would endure; O lift us

Into joy and conquering song.

Cause us in Thy peace to dwell,

Seeing the Invisible.

Let us welcome all life's weather,

Whatsoever it may be;

And, or singly, or together,

Find our heart's delight in Thee,

Our Redeemer, our Adored,

Lover, and beloved Lord.

Anyway... more about the students. It is always amusing when you ask a question to have the question repeated instead of answered. This week we are learning about living and non-living things. I said a statement that the students were supposed to repeat and then I said, "That's a hard one isn't it." To which my class parroted, "That's a hard one isn't it" which caused me to smile.

My poor lone boy sometimes has a hard time focusing on our lessons. Apparently that is the case when my Thai co-teacher is teaching as well. Amy and I were standing outside the classroom waiting to help with dismissal time when my student looked up and saw me standing outside the door. He had been looking around and not focusing. When he saw me he did the gesture for our classroom rule #2 "Stay on Task." Which as he was not on task appeared as if he was turning himself in.

I have been experimenting with Whole Brain Teaching strategies and they suggest having a gesture for each vocabulary word you teach. Great! If only teacher could remember all the gestures. ;) In all seriousness I think that is necessary especially when teaching ESL or what we jokingly call ETL (English as a third language). Instead of thinking of my own gesture I did what the program suggested, which ended up backfiring a little bit. The word is green and the gesture is to point to the ground and say 'achoo' because the picture is of grass. A little odd I know. Well now I have the situation of anytime any of my students see anything green whether in the classroom or outside they starting pointing and sneezing. I'm sure the other teachers think all my students have a cold.

Here are some pictures to give you a taste of what the school is like and what we do everyday.

These are our 12 students Grades 1, 2, 4, and 5 with our director Joel on the first day of school.

This is FUN reading time. The next to last period of everyday we spend thirty minutes reading. I normally read two stories and then let the kids chose a book to look at. Often times they bring it to me to read which is what is happening in this picture. I can't tell you how many times I read Goodnight Moon and The Three Little Pigs this week.

These are Amy's three boys (and Amy with her head cut off.)

My five 1st graders are working on writing the letter Nn on whiteboards.

Everyday we start school with an assembly where the students raise the flag and sing the national anthem.

Sunday Morning

Life in Thailand is unpredictable. Case in point:

Sundays are usually great for several reasons. First, the worship and fellowship with other believers is uplifting. Second, we get ready in a pretty cool (temperature wise) environment, get into our air conditioned car, and sit in an air conditioned building for church. Third, we generally go to lunch after church at some of our favorite restaurants or try new places. This morning I was attempting to back our favorite hunk of metal out of our driveway which is not the easiest thing because it has no power steering and we have to avoid hitting our neighbor's vehicle which is generally parked behind us. Vente (our car) often doesn't start right away or stalls quickly after starting. Meaning that when we do get it started we have to quickly hit the gas for it to remain running producing revving noises and causing us to peel out of the driveway. I just really struggled this morning to get it moving, it just would hop backwards and then die. This happened repeatedly until I finally managed to get it onto the street. At this point I knew something was not right but I wasn't sure what it was. As I lurched down the street I began to notice that it felt like the clutch was already in before I attempted to step on the pedal. I thought something really was not right but I wasn't sure if it was just me so I asked my roommate to drive it for a minute and to see what she thought. She was driving and agreed that we needed to get it looked at but didn't think it felt too weird. As we were driving down the street she started having trouble getting it into gear and we decided to call our boss and see if we could just park Vente at his house and borrow his car or ride with him to church. We stop at a very busy intersection where the stoplight is not working while I call our boss. When Brittany attempts to put the car in gear and drive through the intersection she can't get it into ANY gear. So... we sit at this intersection blocking the flow of traffic. Amy rolls down her window and proceeds to wave everyone around us. Now, we stick out in Thailand. We get stared at, pointed at, and laughed at on a regular basis. Picture us sitting in the middle of the intersection stopped and waving everyone around us. Yep, that was awkward. We sat there waiting for our boss when this car drives by and a farang (foreigner) man rolls down his window and asks if we need help. We say, yes! and he pulls right in front of us and stops. Amy and I jump out (keep in mind we are wearing church clothes) and help this wonderful man push our car backwards into the oncoming traffic. Oh, how we wished we had a camera! We didn't quite make it clear to Brittany (who was steering) what the plan was, and Vente doesn't have power steering so we accidentally got the car stuck too close to the median. Around that time a Thai couple on a motorbike stopped to help. So we all pushed the car forward and then turned into a pretty vacant factory area. We thanked them all profusely and told them our director was coming and to go ahead with their days. When our boss arrived we piled into their vehicle. We then headed off to pick up a new friend that we were planning on taking to church with us. Then with six adults and two kids (with large car seats) in a car with five available seats we headed off to church. Three of us were in the way back on fold out seats and the floor where absolutely no air reaches. Which meant that car sick and super hot we arrived late to church. Things really never go quite as planned. However, lunch time definitely improved the day. We ate at Sizzler (which we've never been to) with air con, a baked potato, and salad! Just wanted to share our eventful morning with you! Life certainly isn't very exciting if something isn't going wrong. :) So thankful that the Lord provided people to help us, a ride to church, good fellowship, and good food! Anyway hope your mornings work out more smoothly than ours!

Lao: Our Unexpected "Vacation"

The story begins about a week ago, when we discovered that although it has been done in the past, it was no longer a possibility for my boss and I to switch our visa type while still in Thailand. Great! Quickly all sorts of issues now come into play. One being that we have only a limited amount of time before our visas expire. Two being that we have to go to a country with a Royal Thai Embassy. Three being that we have to find the cheapest way to get... well wherever we are going. My vote was for Australia, however, a ticket to Australia costs about as much as a ticket to the States. After a lot of hunting and thinking we picked our destination...Lao!

Our plans were:

• Leave Chiang Mai on Monday morning/Stay in a hotel in Thailand
  
• Tuesday finish the trip to Lao and cross the border/ apply for the visa
  
• Sight see/work on Wednesday
  
• Pick up the visa on Thursday, cross the border and travel as far as we could
  
• Friday finish travelling and arrive in Chiang Mai

Highlights:

• Marvel's homemade muffins and cookies
  
• About twenty caution wild elephant signs throughout one of the four mountain passes we drove through.
  
• A giant snake in the middle of the road
  
• Eating dinner (typical Thai noodle soup) at about 7:30 in a parking lot of a gas station at a roadside stand
  
• Being nervous while crossing the border that the strange man who showed up and grabbed our bags was about to take off with most of our important earthly possessions. He ended up driving us to the Thai Embassy and then back to the border on Thursday.
  
• A strange conversation with the men at the desk in our hotel, I didn't understand most of what they said even though it was in English. The part I understood one of the guys asked if our country was hot right now. I said no, thinking that he meant the States. His next sentence was about the weather when he visited Thailand. Not sure, but I think he actually meant Thailand when he said "your country" which is pretty exciting to me.
  
• Thanks to the suggestion of a friend we found JoMo's cafe which wonder of all wonders served real cheddar cheese, actual ham, and bagels!
  
• Dinner with a Lao friend (actually none of us knew him, but he was a friend of a friend so...)
  
• Walk down by the Mekong river which runs between Thailand and Laos. Our cell phones picked up the Thai signal so we were able to make calls. :)
  
• Lao handicraft shops
  
• Amy and I ventured out on our own our last day and had a nice long breakfast at JoMo's cafe with coffee!!! We then walked around a bit and shopped in fun little stores. We also went down to the river again just to see what it looked like in the day time. It was still pretty. :)
  
• In our hotel room killing over 20 mosquitoes in a span of five minutes, and then being eaten alive by the remaining mosquitoes. I even got some bites on my face. Yuck. Praying against malaria. ;)
  
• Wandering around town seeing the capital building, a historic tower, and the stadium for the Asian games.
  
• Eating "khaw lam" which is sticky rice mixed with coconut milk baked in bamboo stalks
  
• Bartering with tuk-tuk drivers who were upset when they couldn't get us to pay prices that were WAY too high (Amy and I were uncharacteristically strong)
  
• Trying to calculate costs: 1 Thai Baht is equivalent to 256 Lao Kip. When paying for dinner I felt like I should be buying a car since the price was about 30,000 Kip. It is actually only about 117 baht or about 4 dollars.
  
• Good conversations with Joel (our boss)
  
• Our stay at the "Grand" hotel which was definitely sketchy and our room was right above a karaoke floor. Loudly sung Thai songs in the middle of the night by drunk people...not so pleasant.
  
• Numerous gas station squatty potties, which at night time actually turn out to be where all the neighbors show up in their towels to shower.
  
• Laughing hysterically listening to Carmen's On a Mission from 1998 while sitting in an extremely long line of cars trying to go to Big C (where we stopped to buy our lunch of apples and banana bread)
  
• Buying ice cream cones at a "K Mart" which is not at all like K-Marts in the States.

The trip was super hot, sweaty, and long but we laughed about everything and really had some quality time. The Lord clearly was with us and enabled things to go smoothly especially at the embassy. Thank you for your prayers!!

Photos:
Amy with her "khaw lam."

The rules at the hotel in Lao, we thought they were quite entertaining.

Joel and I in a tuk-tuk. Our only mode of transportation other than our legs.

Amy and I at what we think is the capital building or something similar.A view of Vientiane, Lao from one of the sides of the big tower. The big tower that in the plaque is called, "a monster of concrete" which was never finished due to violent times in Lao history.

Say What?

I've decided to start compiling a list of some of the somewhat strange things that make me smile, to share with you. So often I think, I should put that in a blog and then I promptly forget. Here are some short stories that while not outrageously funny, I hope will bring a smile to your face.

• Khruu Ooy talking about when we go to Khruu Kae's "weeding" (also known as a wedding). And Khruu Ooy trying to tell us a story about "love" we were so confused until she started saying "the Australian who helps at our school" we knew then she was talking about Rob not "love."



• My roommate Amy frantically trying honk the horn to warn a car coming into our lane that we were already there, but only succeeding in making several clicking noises. Later when she had discovered the one spot on the horn that would produce a noise actually audible outside of the car, she started honking out jingle bells as we drove down the street.



• At one of our major groceries stores there are no places to return your cart to which means that after every trip someone has to face the awkward "Where do we rudely leave our cart so as to affect the least number of people situation." Last trip it was my turn. I moved the cart behind a car one over from us, at the same time a Thai lady was having the same awkward situation. So, we pushed our carts near each other, gave each other sort of sheepish glances and then quickly walked off to our waiting vehicles. As we were backing out so was her family and I looked up to find her staring at us. I gave her a big smile and she smiled back. Several minutes later as we were driving down the main road their truck passed by us and the lady saw us, decided to practically hang out the window, and enthusiastically waved. So easy to make new friends...



• On one especially hot day after traipsing around town trying to find a shop who would make PE uniforms for our students and after already literally almost being hit by a car while walking across the street we decided to go to Airport Plaza for air conditioning. Khruu Ooy was driving our car and is a bit of a maniac while driving. I think about half of the city of Chiang Mai decided to go to Airport Plaza as well so the parking garage was packed. After circling several floors we ended up finding a spot that someone was just leaving. Trouble is that because parking is so difficult to find many people just park sideways behind cars that are parked in spots. Everyone knows to leave their car in neutral and to not put the parking brake on. We also saw many cars parked mostly up on the sidewalk with just a little bit on the actual lane. Anyway, as we left the building and walked to our car we discovered our car was blocked in, no surprise. We started on one end pushing half of the cars one way and half of the cars the other way. It works best to have one person pushing and one person stand at the front to "catch" the car before it crashes with the next one in line. Rearranging vehicles in a parking garage is definitely a fond memory.



• On that same trip with Khruu Ooy we went to one store that said on the door that it was closed, we weren't sure if she would run and check and if she wanted us to wait or come with her. We all started climbing out of the car when she started half-yelling, "Back, back." So like obedient ducklings we all climbed back in the car and shut the doors. A minute later Khruu Ooy looked over at us and was saying, "No, no, no." Which made us all quite confused. She came walking over and we opened the doors when she explained she was saying, "Bag, bag" and only wanted us to bring her her bag.



• We are all a little fearful of dogs around here. Reason being that in the previous eight months of our life here people in our house have gotten bite five times by dogs in our neighborhood. Needless to say we are weary of even the smallest dogs. So, for the trip back Amy's grandpa gave her some dog spray kind of similar to pepper spray. A couple of evenings ago Amy and I went for a walk in our neighborhood, and we of course took the dog spray. We walked past this humongous dog which we have always been scared of, he is usually attached to this thick harness which worries us a little bit. I was standing on the side closest to this monster and Amy told me not to worry, if he came after us she would push me behind her and attack him with the dog spray. No problems. We continue on and we see this dog bounding towards this poor person on a bicycle and we think this is the dog that is going to attack us. We turn and quickly walk/jog in the other direction. We look up and this dog is galloping towards us. So we huddle near this tree (Amy hiding behind me, but with the spray out in front of us) and watch as this dog goes flying past us while giving us kind of a strange look. Then two Thai boys ride by on their bicycle after the dog saying, (in English) "He don't bite." Amy and I looked at each other and burst out laughing embarrassed at our reaction. A couple minutes later we took off running when this tiny little dog really was after us barking ferociously. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure our neighbors are quite entertained by us farang girls running away from their dogs.

A Day of Rejoicing

This last year in Thailand I discovered something silly that is actually very important to me. I realized it by noticing the fact that it was lacking in our household. Well, we technically had one, but one that was sorely disappointing. As much as a couch, yes a couch, could be disappointing ours certainly was. It was made of a plastic type material which did not breath at all, which when living in Thailand is quite a problem. It had large rips that were duct taped together, it was hard, but worst of all it stank. So, the picture of curling up on the couch for morning devotions, or to read, to watch a movie, or visit with friends just sounded miserable. We ended up sitting on our floor all the time and our couch was turned into a bookshelf.
As, superficial as it is a new couch became an object that we all greatly desired. However, the thought of spending the money to attain our heart's desire was something that we all couldn't really justify. When two of our roommates left for good, the reality of purchasing diminished as the cost went up. (We had looked at couches but just couldn't decide if we needed one or if so which one would be best.) A couch became to us a symbol and an analogy for some of our heart's greatest desires. We would say that someday the Lord would bring us a couch (literally and figuratively). We all have been learning how to put our hearts into God's hands and commit fully, whatever lies ahead. I, for one, sometimes have a hard time trusting God's plans and that He really does know what I desire and need, and not only that but that He grants the desires of our hearts and provides for our needs. Months ago I put the couch situation in God's hands trusting that He saw our desire and that He would answer, although in His time. Recently, I have been challenged to focus on Christ as the all sufficient one, and on the fact that He alone can satisfy my heart's desires.
Upon arriving back in Thailand, the thought and desire for a new couch came up several times. Two days ago I even told my roommate Amy that I thought we should stop by one of the shops on the road to school and ask how much for one of their couch/chair things. OK so enough background story, hopefully you understand where we are coming from.
Two days ago our gate bell (similar to a door bell) rang and I peeked out the front door to see our landlady coming up to the door. Honestly, my first thought was, "Oh, no. She is coming for rent and we don't have the money." (Our boss gives us money for rent each month and we pass it on to her.) I answered the door and greeted her politely. She started out in Thai and I thought that she said she was going to switch the sofa. I asked to clarify and she said that yes our couch was may dii (not good) and so she was going to change it. It was about to storm so we made a plan for her to come back the next day at four. When we pulled up to our house at four o'clock she was standing outside (unusual punctuality for Thai culture) with her husband and two Thai workers. In about fifteen minutes they had removed our gross bookshelf (couch) and replaced it with.......a beautiful, soft, clean, non-smelly couch. Better than I could have hoped for. So this is on the surface meant to share about our great new couch (and kind landlady). But more than that I hope you see answered prayer and that God knows the desires of our hearts, big and small. That while it may not always seem like it God is always working and He knows how to give good gifts to His children because of His extravagant love. May I never forget that in good times or bad with a gross couch or a beautiful one He is the all sufficient one and therefore all I will ever need.

Songkran Festival

Thai New Year has arrived, which means...water! Yes, for a whole week the entire city has license to throw water on anyone else. Not only that, down at the moat, the whole city shows up for water fight of gigantic proportions. The moat is just that, an actual moat. The old city used to be surrounded by a high wall with four gates and a moat. Now all that is left of the wall are the gates and corners, but the moat survives. April 13 means that it is time to climb into your truck with about ten of your closest friends and relatives, grab your water guns and any large bucket and drive down to the moat. Some choose to also cover their car in baby powder mixed with liquid dye and don a Halloween type mask/costume. Once at the moat cars move at about 2 miles per hour as the occupants toss water onto other trucks, cars, pedestrians, virtually anything is fair game. Water is pulled out of the moat and huge blocks of ice are sold by the water. We stood on the sidewalk pulling water out of the moat to dump on whoever thought it would be fun to dump water on us. Amy and I had to work as a team as we had to ward off attacks from both the front (all the vehicles) and the back (other pedestrians). I have to say that is must be one of the best ideas ever created. The days have been so hot and just sitting in the heat is pretty miserable. After you are completely soaked from head to toe the temperature is much more bearable.

The fight is not contained to the moat although that is where most of the people go. On any street, even out of the city, you will see people standing on the side of the road with their buckets and hoses throwing water on anyone who passes by. This afternoon we walked down the road aways to our local outdoor tri-weekly market. As we exited our neighborhood we were doused by some cute children. A little farther down the road a passing truck doused us. At the start of the market we were yet again doused by some teenagers hanging out by the road. Oddly enough the prevailing sensation was happiness that one finally does not feel so hot!

Some memories from the day: