In His Steps

Have you ever read the book In His Steps by Charles M. Sheldon? It is the story of the courageous people of a church who take the pledge to not make any decision or take any action for a year without first asking, "What would Jesus do?" And yes, I know the WWJD craze that swept through Christian circles years ago. But seriously, what would happen if the businessmen, teachers, engineers, construction workers in churches seriously made this pledge and stuck to it? One of the main premises of this book is the idea that following Christ should cost something. The idea that many Christians live a life of faith as long as it is convenient to them, as long as it turns a blind eye to their pet sins or somewhat questionable lifestyles or business practices. The question of: if following Christ became inconvenient, if it became painful, if it caused physical material loss...what would you choose? Would you choose to walk away? Or would you choose to walk in His steps?

Sheldon uses 1 Peter 2:21 as the basis for his book. The thought that Jesus is our example and that in doing the right thing He often chose the hard thing, the thing which people did not understand, or the thing for which He was ridiculed. Should our lives not reflect His, as He is our example? "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps."

The following two quotes from the book have given me much to think about.

"The bishop found his heart sinking within him as he faced this fact: that men would give money who would not think of giving themselves. And the money they gave did not represent any real sacrifice because they did not miss it. They gave what was easiest to give, what hurt them the least. Where did the sacrifice come in? Was this following Jesus? Was this going with Him all the way?"

"...If our definition of being a Christian is simply to enjoy the privileges of worship, be generous at no expense to ourselves, have a good easy time surrounded by pleasant friends and by comfortable things, live respectably, and at the same time avoid the world's great stress of sin and trouble because it is too painful, if this is our definition of Christianity, then surely we are a long way from following the steps of Him who trod the way with tears of anguish for a lost humanity; who sweat as it were great drops of blood; who cried out on the upreared cross, 'My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken me'?"

The call to follow in Christ's steps is not an easy one, and when I truly examine my own life I see the selfish desire to give, but not to the point where I lack. To serve, but not to the point of exhaustion. To go, but not go to the "worst" places. To love, but not to the point where it breaks my heart. To surrender my will but clench just a little thread of desire in my closed fist. I see how pitiful my efforts really are...and yet I'm reminded that the mighty God who created the universe and holds it together, daily reaches down into my life and meets with me in a personal way. His word says, "The God of peace...equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever." (Hebrews 13:21) What a relief that it is God who equips and works in us, we just have to step out in obedience to His call to follow in His steps.

I've had to ask myself the following questions this week. Is this step/action/word/choice following the pattern of Jesus or it is at its root selfish? Am I considering the consequences to myself more highly than the heart of Jesus? Am I half-heartedly doing what I know appears right when I know in my heart that God is asking for much more? Do I hesitate to act because I'm concerned for my comfort? Am I like Lot's wife looking back at all I've left not quite willing to face the uncertain future?

Walking daily in Christ's steps requires a brutal honest look at ourselves. It entails absolute, swift obedience. It demands total surrender. It necessitates risk. It bears a high cost. BUT "We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and merciful." (James 5:11)

On Beauty in the Ordinary

Today struck me with the beautifulness of life. Kind of. It's a Wednesday which means it I am at school earlier than I need to be because one of my roommates has monitoring duty. That happens on Mondays and Wednesdays, I love those days. They allow me to grab my Bible, journal, and prayer list and head to "my" bench (which I discovered today I'm pretty sure I share with a mouse). The space that has heard my prayers for the people I love, the space that has seen my tears, and the place where I gaze into the sky knowing that my God is out there and is listening. As I pray I see the huge green trees, the blue sky sometimes angry sometimes calm, and the rooftops of the nearby houses that remind me I'm not in the States anymore. I hear the children chattering in a language I don't claim as my own. I walk down the stairs to pray with our team to the beat of Thai music from the community loudspeaker. I sing praise songs in two languages. As I'm walking back to my bench for the remaining fifteen minutes or so until the official start of the school day, I pause to be still for the national anthem/king's song that is played over the loudspeakers every morning. All motion stops for those minutes and then the hustle and bustle starts up again.

As I travel to the cafeteria for snack time I stop for a conversation with one of the Thai teachers. A conversation switching between Thai and English sharing hearts across cultures. In the cafeteria I discover our cook frying chicken and she asks if I'd like to help. I wash my hands and then pick up slimy raw chicken pieces and roll them in bread crumbs. Khruu Ooy comes in and sits for awhile asking Joy to make som tam with lunch. As Khruu Ooy speeds off on the motorcycle to buy the ingredients for the papaya salad I'm summoned to a meeting. A meeting with a generous Australian woman who has come to teach us some of her plentiful knowledge gathered from decades of teaching children just learning English.

Upstairs in the heat of our teacher room our boss creates some visuals for class which he is now teaching. As he struggles with our finicky laminater, paper cutter that doesn't cut straight, and the everlasting problem of the necessary fan blowing papers in every direction we laugh. It's terrible but we laugh, and good man that he is, he laughs with us. At one point he comments on how the laminater sounds like a whole colony of insects being slaughtered. The day is not yet over. There is still dinner with a Thai friend, some more lesson planning/preparation for tomorrow, and blessed sleep on the horizon.

Today...is beautiful. Beautiful because of the unfamiliar becoming familiar. Beautiful because of friendships created through intentionality and hard work. Beautiful because of the peace in the lack of comfort. Beautiful because of shared struggles. Beautiful because God in His grace has redeemed us and called us His own. Beautiful God has brought us together here to learn how to love Him and love each other. Beautiful.

Funny Story

After eating lunch at school everyone does their own dishes. Teaching responsibility: yes... making less work for our cook: yes... sanitary: maybe not. However, my girls often end up playing in the water more than they wash their dishes, such was the case today. I teasingly told one of my girls to "move it" because she was playing with bubbles and we were all waiting behind her to wash our dishes. Amy (the 2nd grade teacher) started singing, "I like to move it move it." My little first grader started singing "I like to move it move it" while bobbing her head. Too funny.

Bringing Light

"The brave who focus on all things good and all things beauty and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to the all the world.”

~One Thousand Gifts, A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

May the joy

on their faces

bring you joy

and encourage you.

They are already changing the world one smile at a time.

Royal Flora

Saturday some of our team took a trip to the Royal Flora Gardens. The Royal Flora is in the foothills of mountains that border Chiang Mai. A tram takes visitors to various stops around the garden where people can walk around, enjoy the scenery, and take pictures. They have gardens decorated to represent various countries around the world, a huge temple up on a hill, different greenhouses, and various other attractions. As always I'm amazed by the beauty of the land in Thailand, it points me to our artistic creator God who has blessed us with such beauty.

Some photos of the day...

What I Learned from the Laminating Machine

I learned that the constant high pitched squeal of the laminator makes my roommate want to do this...

But seriously, today, while laminating sticker sheets for my students' desks to encourage better listening and careful work I made a mistake...I thought. I thought if I just cut off an unused part of the laminating sheet I could save a half a sheet (laminating film is quite the commodity over here). About a half a second later when the paper was all jammed into the whining machine my heart dropped. In trying to save a half a sheet of paper I had ruined the machine. After a confession of my mistake to my kind roommates and my efforts at yanking an extremely hot piece of plastic out of the unyielding jaws of the laminator, I finally succeeded in righting my wrong and I breathed easy once again.

As this happened for some reason my mind made the connection between my obstinate laminator and my obstinate self. Sometimes (or most times if I'm honest) I think I know what is good for my life, I think I know what is best, I think I know how I can serve in the way the Lord desires. And then it comes crashing down around me what I thought would be good actually ends up causing more problems. Mostly because it is centered around myself instead of the Lord. When will I learn to wait on the Lord? When will I learn to follow at His pace? When will I learn to trust that He is faithful, that He loves me, and that His plan is good? I would like this lesson to only appear once (too late for that) and I would like to master it in about an hour (too late for that too). Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. God takes His time in growing us because He cares how we turn out, and possibly because we struggle a bit in the process. We are His workmanship, the clay in His hands. It is our purpose to submit to His design, to be willing, to be still.

Maybe if I learn to trust and obey I'll make it through the "laminator" of life and end up on the other side useful for the purpose I was created for. I'm so thankful that the Lord's grace covers my sin, my efforts, my mistakes, and my "successes." I'm thankful that it is through His strength and ability I am made into a vessel for His use.

Week at a Glance

This week in Thailand...

...We agreed to help out a friend, which entailed teaching for an English camp at a nearby school to about 140 students. It was nice to have a change of pace to break up a sometimes monotonous routine. The school was hospitable and the day was smooth. In fact they took such good care of us they even dug a bee stinger out of my foot when I happened to get stung. During the day we met a man who was there living and working at the school for several months. As we tried to explain to him what we did and why, he asked us, "Are you guys like modern day nuns?" The half-funny half-sad thing was he was serious. He didn't really understand how we would think there was such a thing as the Lord's call on our lives, much less obey it.

...We had our weekly Monday night dinner with a special meal and boxed birthday cake (all the way from the States) for one of my dear roommate's birthdays. My boss's wife works hard every week to make us delicious American dinners, which we greatly appreciate.

...One morning as I walked into my stuffy classroom I was greeted by a humongous creepy spider. *Just for the record I am one of those girls who would ask her dad to kill crunchy bugs that happened to interrupt her life. Thank you dad!* I tried to be brave, because sometimes I can be, but this spider was too much for me. So I did what any good teacher would do...I asked the fifth grade boy to help me kill the spider. And by "help" what I mean is that I watched him chase it around the room, stomp on it several times, and when it refused to die...catch it with his hands. Only later did I wonder if it might be poisonous or dangerous.

...One afternoon our school cook, Phii Joy, brought me a bowl after school. As I gave her a curious look she told me that she had made som tam (spicy papaya salad, one of our favorites) exactly the way we English teachers liked it. What a thoughtful lady. She also made guidteaw for lunch on Friday. Rice noodles in broth with pork, garlic, dried chili peppers, and a random assortment of sauces. Oddly enough it is becoming quite the comfort food, which was great Friday because we were all struggling a bit with various levels of sickness.

...As I visited with one of my student's mothers after school, she shared with me about her husband's and her ministry here in Thailand. It was really neat to hear about. As she was talking she shared that there were still several things up in the air and things that they didn't really know how they were going to work out. She said she had been encouraged on Friday when her child brought home our craft project from Moses and the Red Sea on which their little hands had written "God will make a way." Even though her child didn't understand the words it was an encouragement to her to remember that God does provide.

...I spent three hours in a hospital waiting room which was gloomy and too small for the number of people. I had driven my dear friend Khruu Ooy to the hospital after she had suddenly gotten quite ill at school. I have to admit that I felt quite a bit of accomplishment that I knew how to get to the faraway hospital (unfortunately I'd been there before) and then back home after I had dropped her off at her husband's house in the city. For those of you who know my sense of direction and the moat area in the city of Chiang Mai you will understand the feat that this was. For a little while I didn't feel like a foreigner or outsider (odd considering I was sitting in a room in which no one shared my skin, hair, or eye color.)

...Last night my roommate suggested we put Nutella on cereal. It is our usual practice when lesson planning at night after the time we have to ceased to be genuinely productive to think of what snack we can make to get us going. Pretty much anything with Nutella is always an option (for those of you who don't know Nutella is a chocolaty hazelnut mixture with a consistency sort of close to peanut butter.) I have to confess one time we actually ate Tim Tams (a chocolate wafer cookie thing from Australia) with Nutella on top only several minutes later followed by a piece of chocolate candy with Nutella on it. Anyway this time we decided on cereal minus the Nutella. I have to say cereal is one of my favorite things in the world. Thanks to the sweet friends who brought cereal for us all the way from the States!

...Today, the first Saturday in a long time that we haven't had anything to do, we broke out our scrub brushes, soap, and laundry buckets (which thankfully haven't seen much use since our generous landlady gave us a washing machine) to clean our house. This is an endeavor that always produces a lot of sweat, but the results are worth it. In an effort to keep our kitchen clean we are having dinner tonight delivered for about $3.13 per person.

So there it is...a glimpse of this thing I call my life. Never quite predictable, not always easy, but with, oh, so much to laugh about and be thankful for.