The Steadfast Love

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,

His mercies never come to an end,

They are new every morning,

New every morning,

Great is thy faithfulness oh Lord,

Great is thy faithfulness.

On several recent occasions this song has brought tears to my eyes. One being when five Thai children who had been through some of the worst situations I can think of sang this song in Thai as a farewell to their English teacher. I can't even convey in words the sweetness of their voices proclaiming the steadfast love and faithfulness of their God in light of the circumstances of their lives.

The second time this song has caused tears was earlier this week. The last two weeks have been awful, words cannot describe the pain and frustration that overcame virtually our whole team. It was as though we were knocked down in a fight and as we struggled to get up we were hit again and again. Almost all of our deepest hopes were met with painful disappointment. Everyday was a new circumstance that just caused us to say "WHY?"

The battle I have struggled with is believing in who God is more than in what I can see. I can clearly see pain, disappointment, doubts, and fear. But I can not clearly see God as my loving Father and the giver of good gifts. I was reading James 1:2-3 where it is written that we must consider it all joy when we face various trials because the testing of our faith produces endurance. I was thinking about faith as the conviction of truth, the truth that all I am is dependant on Christ. In the midst of these trials that threaten to tear me apart...do I believe that Jesus Christ is good? Do I believe that His love is unending and unfailing? Do I believe that He is faithful to accomplish His good purpose?

In stormy circumstances truth is not always seen and certainly not always felt. However, I am reminded and choose to believe...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end,
They are new every morning,

New every morning,
Great is thy faithfulness oh Lord,

Great is thy faithfulness.

Opportunities

What does it mean when chalk, unidentified fried meat with claws, and bare feet all occur at the same time? Teaching! Yep, yesterday I began teaching Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade English at a school in our area. Praise God! *On top of our responsibilities preparing for our school the English team is volunteering at two nearby Thai schools. We will teach until the end of the term (March). The purpose of volunteering is two-fold: first to build community relationships and second to allow us to develop our teaching skills.* This school is really abnormal for a Thai school and is fairly experimental. They are gaining recognition for their unique approach to education, I am impressed by what I've seen. It has been a joy to be there, the students are attentive and respectful. The other teachers, after a brief case of nerves, have been very kind and welcoming. We have begun to build relationships with them over lunch (where the meat with claws comes in). They have given my roommate and I Thai names, names of flowers. I am so thankful for this opportunity. Yesterday upon arriving at this school we observed their morning assembly which included prayers to Buddha and a time of meditation. This school is a place where truth and light do not normally reside. Amy and I get the opportunity to go and love the people, both students and teachers with the love of Jesus. I am so thankful they have graciously opened their doors to us and pray that we will be effective witnesses (and teachers).

Farewell 2009

Highlights from Thailand 2009 (Click on the above image to see it full size)

So, trying to think of a fitting goodbye 2009 and welcome 2010 message is a little bit difficult. My human/selfish tendency would be to say I hope things work out better in 2010 and good riddance 2009. However, that would be totally inappropriate. 2009 was filled with the Lord's blessings and so much joy. Right now I don't want to downplay that but really just thank the Lord for all He did in 2009. The above pictures showcase just a few of the Lord's gifts to me.

I have four amazing roommates who encourage me and who inspire me to become more than I am. In each one of them I see special gifts from the Lord which they use to bless those around them. I can not tell how much they mean to me.

God also blessed us with a special Thai friend who has taught me what it means to really be a friend. She has graciously shared her country, her home, her resources, and most lovingly her time to help us. She has:

• picked us up when we locked our keys in the car
• taken us to get new prescription glasses (at a friend's shop who gave us a great discount)
• showed us great non-tourist spots around the city
• taken us to Burma twice
• given us an abundance of fruits and vegetables and meat (her husband is a businessman)
• gotten our car registration and insurance
• helped us rent cars when our families visited

Basically when we need anything Khruu Ooy is the one who is there to help. She often tells us, "I free for you all the time." And she really is. I've never met anyone so free with their time and energy. I can not imagine life without this wonderful woman who gives without expecting anything in return. May she be blessed for her love.

I am also so thankful for our friends Daniel and Noelle. They made the transition to life here so much easier. They have also been extremely generous with their time, money, and home. We have spent many wonderful hours at their house. Spending time with them is so relaxing, just talking, playing games, or even just all being on the Internet in the same room at their house is so enjoyable. They are without a doubt some of the most hospitable and gracious people I've ever met. They also added to our joy when they began fostering a nine month old baby named Makham. Some of my favorite times in Thailand are times when we babysat this precious little boy.

I am also thankful for the Vander Kooi family and the time they invest in our lives and the effort they put into our Monday night gatherings and the school project. The Thai staff we work with are sweet people who have enriched our time here. They are very welcoming and great fun to be with. I am so excited for several new friendships (with other foreigners) the Lord has brought to our path.

I do not say it enough, but I'm very grateful that the Lord gave me the parents He did. They have been supportive and encouraging almost from the very first time I said I felt called to go overseas. :) (It took a little getting used to at the beginning.) But they have stood by me throughout the whole process and have generously given much of their time and resources which have enabled me to be here. Thanks for always believing in me and believing that anything was possible. Thanks for never telling me that I was silly or that I couldn't do any of the crazy ideas I've had over the years. I am who I am because of you guys. I love you.

And now for the reason I came to Thailand, the hurting children the Lord filled my heart with compassion for. They are what I expected to be in my life at this point, not all these wonderful people mentioned above, and these children are now in my life less than anyone else. Life really just does not turn out how I expect. For three short months these children won my heart and taught me so much, and then they were gone. I still see some of them at church or at their house sometimes and they melt my heart all over again. I know that I will not be the same for having known them and I believe that my future will be different because of the effect they have had on my life. I am now more aware of the need for people to stand in the gap for children and appreciation for those who already do.

Looking Forward to 2010

As I look to the future most things are blurry. There are very few things I can say with certainty about the coming year. One is that Monday I will begin teaching at a exceptional government school. I will teach 1st and 2nd grade. I am definitely nervous about this opportunity as I know absolutely nothing about the school, students, or expectations of me. However, I am thankful for the chance to be with students again, for the chance to teach and love them. The second thing I can say with certainty is that the Lord is with me and that because I know He has a plan for 2010 I will step into the new year with joy and trust.

A Jumble of Thoughts

Wait... I feel like much of life is spent waiting. I must say it is not one of my favorite things. Waiting for answers never is pleasant. I am reminded of the lyrics to a song by Sara Evans. She sings, "But how do you wait for heaven? And who has that much time?" We (some of the English teachers) sat in our "cave" (the really cold room we sit in all day and create curriculum) and were discussing how we feel like we are getting older but not really doing much with our lives. Recently I've been reading about a girl a couple years younger than me who is "Mom" to twelve girls in Africa. When faced with stories like that I just feel so inadequate. On Sunday, one of the best days since moving to Thailand, I was talking with a new missionary friend. She recently arrived and we were sharing struggles and encouraging one another. One thing she said really stuck with me. We were talking about what is "effective" and what is "success." If the school does not work out, did we fail? Was our time here a waste? Who wants to think that they travelled across the world in obedience to God's call and then...failed. She shared about Martin Luther, everyone remembers him and what he did. But, what about the martyrs who no one remembers but who went before Luther and helped pave the way. Did they fail? Did they die in vain? I'm realizing now that no man's success is created in isolation, but is codependent on other workers in God's kingdom. So, we joked that we might need to be "burned at the stake" for the sake of those who will come after us. Is success always tangible? In America we grow up thinking we are valuable because of what we do, what we produce. When you come to a place and work so hard and have nothing to show for it, it is like a slap in the face to American ideals. Maybe, just maybe, God counts success as being faithful. As in obeying His voice, going where He calls, diligently doing what He puts before us, enduring heartache, and praising His name in the face of "failure". Maybe that is really the success we should strive to achieve.

So then, as we wait to discover the future of this project, I put my trust in the Lord. Because, "The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

• He is with me (even in Hang Dong, Thailand)
• He will not fail (whether the school "fails" or not)
• He will not forsake me (even if I feel others do not understand, He always will)
• I do not have to fear (He will accomplish His plan, even if to me it seems like failure)
• I do not have to be dismayed (If I remain faithful, I will count that as success even if the world says I failed)

Urgent Prayer Request

We are facing another huge obstacle in our ministry. Not impossible, but huge in our human eyes. The obstacle is finances and it’s threatening the immediate future of the school project.

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’" Mark 10:27

We’re in a tricky situation. We have to have a building rented, a full staff and money on reserve to even apply for a school license. However, without a license, we can’t have students and don’t receive the tuition fees. At the beginning of the school year (May-August), we were receiving some tuition reimbursement and weren’t renting a building at that time and the Thai staff was being paid by our partnering ministry. Now, the partnering ministry is no longer supporting the Thai staff, we are paying for the building rent and we aren’t receiving any tuition reimbursements. Our expenses have greatly increased at a very pivotal time in our ministry.

We have been unable to pay the bills that have come due this week. We are stuck. If we are unable to pay the bills and unable to continue toward obtaining our license, our project will have to shut down. This breaks my heart because there are so many children and their families in this community that the school could reach for the Lord’s purpose.

I come to you as a person not fond of asking for donations. However, I don’t want to sit back and know that I didn’t do everything in my power to get the word out about the reality of the situation. Please join us in praying for the future of Hope International Schools. Please pray for God’s guidance and clear direction. If you are interested in giving the ministry of H.I.S. please visit http://www.hopeinternationalschools.org/.

Thank you for partnering with us!

Trusting Him,
The School of Promise Team on behalf of the nation of Thailand

Taste and See...

Taste. A short word that came up in my mind several times today.
One obvious reason being that today was Thanksgiving and every American knows that large quantities of yummy food are a trademark of the holiday. Thanksgiving today was very different than any other in my past. Today it was celebrated in two languages in a country far from home with many friends who had never had a Thanksgiving before. For the first time since stepping into Thailand we shared a big part of our culture with our Thai, Filipino, and Scottish friends. Throughout our meal the Thai word for "taste" or "try" was used repeatedly. It was said to help convince our friends to experience the goodness of mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potato casserole, turkey, olives, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie, among other things. And try they did, sometimes producing a smile and sometimes producing a grimace.
The second reason the word "taste" was on my mind was because of 1 Peter 2:3. "Certainly you have tasted that the Lord is good." While reading that this morning I thought, "I have tasted mashed potatoes and I know they are good, but why would someone write about tasting the goodness or kindness of the Lord?" Then another verse, Psalm 34:8 came to mind. "Taste and see that the Lord is good." Since today was a day of feasting I thought I would research some on these two verses that have never really made sense to me. According to e-Sword, the authors in the Bible are writing about their personal experience. They are saying, "I have been helped, I have been protected, I have been taught, I have been loved by the Lord and I want you to experience it too." They were sure that whoever "tasted" or "experienced" trusting in the Lord would be sure to see His goodness as well. It is like what we did with our Thai friends. We said, "I have tried this I know it is delicious and I want you to experience it as well." The only difference is that whereas food sometimes disappoints, God never does. So... as Thanksgiving (or "day of thanking God" as it means in Thai) is ending in Thailand and just beginning in the States, taste. Taste the mouth-watering food that reminds us all of home and family but do not forget to taste and experience that the Lord is good and then thank Him for it.

Mangos

Recently, one of our routines has been centered around a certain yellow (or sometimes green) fruit. After a long day at school we would come home, get out our mangoes and knives, and sit around our table sharing the sweet but sometimes sour fruit and things from our sweet but sometimes sour lives. One day last week as we sat eating our mangoes we discovered that as we get farther away from mango season the mangoes become less satisfying. The next time we shared mangoes we discovered that yet again the taste was somewhat bitter and unsatisfying. We were quite disappointed because we have tasted delicious mangoes and we know how good they can be. While this was happening I started comparing mangoes to life that we live on earth. Sometimes, life is bitter or unsatisfying and deep inside we know that is not how life is supposed to be. And sometimes we even try tasting again and are baffled at why we are still unsatisfied. I have been reading a book entitled Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper and I would like to quote something he wrote.

"Christ has come into this mutinous world, which he made for his own glory, and paid for an amnesty with his own blood. Everyone who lays down the weaponry of unbelief will be absolved from all crimes against the Sovereign of the universe. By faith alone enemies will become happy subjects of an everlasting kingdom of justice and joy. Advancing this cause with Christ is worth your life."

The words he used portray to me the seriousness of sin against God, but the story does not end there. Christ paid for our crimes with His own blood. All we have to do is believe. Once believing we enter into God's kingdom of justice and joy. The previous four sentences are worth both living and dying for. And that is where life becomes satisfying, when we live and die for the purpose we were created for and realize that Christ alone can satisfy. Only by living the life Christ intends for us are we "eating the best mangoes." Piper wrote that once we come face to face with the reality of Christ and what He paid for us we "can't go on with business as usual -- doing your work, making your money, giving your tithe, eating, sleeping, playing, and going to church." Instead he urges that we "...pray and think about how your particular time and place in life fits into the great purpose of God to make the nations glad in Him." That does not mean that Christians must leave secular work to be missionaries because it is clear that God places most Christians in secular work as a mission and for His glory. And just being a missionary does not guarantee that you are being intentional about making the nations glad in Christ. Living wholeheartedly for Christ, being satisfied in Him, and living and dying to make Him known where we are at are ways we can make the most of life. Even sitting here thinking about Piper's words and the Gospel, I am convicted. When I ask myself, "Am I doing all God wants me to do to make the nations glad in Him? Am I showing others by my life that Christ is all satisfying? Am I living like I truly believe that dying for Christ is better than life?" My honest answer to those questions must surely be "no." Oh, how I long to make those words true and evident in my life. In short, mangoes have become to me a reminder that Christ alone can satisfy. When I see one my heart is redirected to focus on the one who in giving His life gave me life and the importance of making much of Him in everything.