Dad We Need You

My children have an obsession with Angry Birds. So, yesterday while waiting for early dismissal for our parent teacher conferences I gave my students angry birds valentines for them to color and give to whoever they wished. I was playing a Proverbs for the Family CD which has different verses from Proverbs and then a song about that proverb. One caught my attention.

“Dad we need you, we need your care, we need you there to always help us through. To show us the way so we’ll all meet in heaven one great day. Dad we just need you. A precious thing a kid can have is a dad who is wise and true. A dad who is kind and fair and always there for you. He listens when you talk, he hears the words you didn’t say, he patches the cuts and lifts you up he is there in every way. We need your strength to keep us safe, we need your hugs and touches too, we always need your wise advice to show us what to do.”

This song struck me because I looked at my five precious 4^th grade students and I realized four of them don’t live with their dad. Then I counted out of my nine 3^rd graders four of them don’t live with their birth fathers and one’s dad isn’t always home. So out of fourteen kids nine of them don’t have solid father figures daily invested in their lives. Some of those kids do have loving dads, they just had to be sent away to go to school and therefore can’t really speak into their children’s lives since they don’t see them often. My heart breaks for these children who have to grow up without a godly father to teach them how to be strong, hard-working, and honest. They are steeped in a culture that says that men drink, smoke, use women, and are lazy. They are immersed in a culture that says being an effeminate man or even becoming a woman is more valuable than being a man.

I looked at my girls and thought about how important it is for them to have a loving dad who protects them, tells them they are beautiful, and that they have great worth. Instead it is more normal for them to have dads who force them to work, who put them in danger, who neglect them.

Later in the afternoon, during the parent teacher conferences I was talking with the dad of one of our students. This is a father who I don't know well, but who I respect for the little I do know about him. I know that he teaches his son right from wrong, he teaches him honesty and respect, and I know that his son respects him. After several minutes of talking we got into some interesting topics. He told me how he was so not happy that his son's only option was to go to a government school and that at that school his son was forced to worship Buddha. (Every government school, as far as I know, has a time of meditation in the morning). He prayed that the Lord would bring a Christian school that his son could learn about God and that he wouldn't be required to serve another god. He views our school as a direct answer to his prayers, several other parents I talked to said that as well.

Then he told me how he came to know the Lord. He said that his life consisted of drinking and smoking everyday along with other not so wholesome activities. His friend invited him to church and the pastor told them that if they wanted to change their lives they needed to pray and ask the Lord to help. So this father prayed asking the Lord to change him, that was on a Sunday. On Monday he didn't want to drink or smoke or live the way he had. His friends all asked him, "What happened? What did you do?" And he told them, "I didn't do anything, I couldn't do it on my own. The Lord changed me." Since that day he has been walking with the Lord and he desires to bring his children up in the truth. His son's Thai name means Peace. Because he has come to know the peace of God.

In watching my children I've seen the obvious gap an absent father leaves and the pain that causes. I've seen good qualities instilled in my children from a godly father. I would never wish for the former for anyone. I'm thankful that the Lord is a Heavenly Father, and I'm thankful that He redeems lives in spite of circumstances. Because of this I know there is hope for each and every student no matter their backgrounds.

This is one of my biggest prayer points for my boys, that they will grow up to be godly men, faithful husbands, and loving dads. I think that is one of the biggest keys to breaking the cycles of poverty and oppression.

What Love Sees

So, hands down one of the sweetest moments happened today at school. Behind our school in a small "shed" lives a family. Last Christmastime when the pink baby blankets started appearing on the clothesline we thought it must be a girl. Shortly after I found out that the wife had given birth to a little boy. He's over a year old now and through the past months we've interacted with him some, but since he has become mobile he now toddles over to our PE class, assembly or recess. At least once a day he's in our arms or we are making faces at him or chasing after him. He is one of the cutest babies. Now, if we put our arms out he'll toddle over to us and put his arms up.

Today, some of us English teachers were sitting at a table outside eating lunch. My roommate went to the noodle shop (where his mom works) and came back with him and a butter/milk sandwich. I was holding him and one of my 3rd grade boys came over and sat down with me. I watched as he gently talked to the baby, rubbed his back, jabbered at him, and had this look and manner that I have never seen on him before. He tried to get the baby to go to him, but he came to me instead and my student said, "He likes Miss Emily." I thought my student would lose interest quickly and go running back to his paper airplanes, but he didn't. He sat next to me and loved on our sweet little friend. After a few minutes the baby reached over and gave my student a big hug. And my sweet little boy gave him a big hug back. My student picked up the baby, who is not too much smaller than him and held him in his arms. He played with him and let him wrinkle up his paper airplane. When the bell rang and it was time for our students to line up my boy hugged the baby and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and then ran to line up.

I can't explain to you how precious this was. Precious because of a broken little boy who hasn't had the love of a mommy or daddy. A boy who struggles everyday to not give up, to throw his hands up and say he can't. I am amazed by the love I saw shining in his eyes and by his gentle manner which contrasts deeply with his often harsh attitude. In those minutes I saw hope and I saw the goodness of the Lord.



"Tell me your story, show me your wounds, and I'll show you what love sees when love looks at you. Hand me the pieces broken and bruised, and I'll show you what love sees when love sees you. I see what I made in your mother's womb. I see the day I fell in love with you. I see your tomorrows, nothing left to chance. I see My Father's fingerprints. I see your story, I see My name. Written on every beautiful page. You see the struggle, you see the shame. I see the reason I came. I came for your story, I came for your wounds. To show you what Love sees when I see you. When I see you."
~Mac Powell "When Love Sees You"

I know that Jesus was watching us: dirty baby boy who is growing up in a shed, broken little boy who isn't quite sure that he is loved, and weak teacher whose inadequacies glare... He saw us there around that table and He loved us the way He has since before we were born. We bear His fingerprints and I saw them today in the love in an eight year old's eyes.

Rain and Tears

I'll be honest. This week...wasn't great. Tears came unbidden and irritation got the best of me. I felt overwhelmed and under skilled.

Our days are much like every one's... ordinary, unpredictable, and much more than we can handle. We wrestle with curriculum that despite the best efforts of many just doesn't match. We stumble around with words that just don't make sense. We spend hours planning, preparing and the work just isn't finished. We have hundreds of last minute changes and too much work with not enough hands.

Life is made of the days when I'm just so irritated that our kitchen roof leaks just about everyday, that one thing after another breaks on our car (I'm almost convinced that everytime we take the car to the shop they intentionally break something else so that we have to go back), that the cockroaches enjoy living under our roof. I'm annoyed that I live in a hot humid climate, that it may sound like its raining but it is actually the sound of many termite wings beating against our windows, that our Internet works in short intervals (when it's not too hot) and mocks me the rest of the time. That my students would decide to be crazy the day we have visitors in our classroom. That half the computers in the lab refuse to work as I'm trying to calmly teach a computer class to prove that really things aren't normally this crazy. That I ending up having to have one of the aforementioned visitors write the students scores on the whiteboard as they finished their computer activity every thirty seconds, while another volunteer reviewed flashcards with the half of the class that didn't end up with a computer. Meanwhile I spent most of the class in the hallway with two little rebellious and broken hearts and four eyes with big tears. You get the picture.

Sometimes the challenges of teaching my students, the termites, the floods, and the communication barriers drown out the voice of truth. They make it seem as if absolutely everything is terrible and that it will never get better.

BUT. But, the truth is that...

He whispers that He is my life. My salvation. My joy. My love. My strength.

And just as He graciously gave me salvation He has also granted to me suffering.

I know that heat, gross bugs, and constant challenges in our work do not compare to the suffering of many Christians and especially do not compare to the sufferings of Christ. Yet, for us, right now this is what has been granted to us as a privilege. A privilege for the glory of Christ and for our good.

"To you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake."

The suffering, it's worth it. Why? Because it has been granted to me to believe in Him. Because He has laid hold of me, because He has poured out His blood to give me grace. Because suffering is often His means of spreading His message to the people who are far off. Because He suffered while walking on this earth, and He is our example. Because He loves me enough to die a horrible death to allow me to be His own. His own. As His own I know that what He allows in my life is for a good purpose and that one day He will wipe away all my tears.

Numbers 13 and 14

Grade 4 was the class we almost didn't open. We started out with three students, lost one, and gained three more. Now with five students it is the third largest class. They bring my grand total up to fourteen which is still six short of the twenty students that certain friends were praying for me. :)

Our general school policy is that we are not accepting applications for this current school year. Mostly because the more students miss the farther they are behind and the harder it is to catch up. However, when they come and we are basically their only hope we make an exception. An exception we hope will change their lives for the better.

Meet two of our exceptions.

This sweet little girl has recently been removed from her "home." She has so many struggles and challenges to overcome. This kind of smile is fairly rare but is beautiful when it surfaces.

This little girl came to us two days ago with yet another heartbreaking story. We'll be taking her home as well as our other special little charge.

Please pray for these two little girls that they would quickly adjust to our school and that they would begin to thrive. Pray for their families and the healing that is needed in both situations. Pray that they would know the Savior's love for them and that would respond to His call.

The Moments that Matter

Just wanted to express thankfulness and answers to prayer for small steps of progress for my smallest one today.

He's walked a rough road and if he thinks he's not going to make it he gives up. I've seen it in English when he doesn't know the words and he literally shuts down and becomes unresponsive. In PE if he sees that the race is lost he won't finish. It breaks my heart, living life already defeated at eight years of age.

This morning he was sitting all alone watching the other kids play, so I went over and tried to strike up a conversation which all things considered went well. After school his ride was two hours late picking him up, luckily four other kids ride with him and two other students ride home with teachers so he wasn't alone. I was on duty today, outside watching the kids, playing games, talking, waiting for parents to come. This afternoon as I sat alone watching over the other kids he came and sat beside me. In a mix of languages we talked about all sorts of things like whether or not he liked tea, what colors were around us, what animals he liked, what games he liked to play, how God loved him, and other random thoughts. And then he asked me, "Where do your mom and dad live?" And normal as that question may or may not seem, I know what he's asking. My answer was simple, "They live in America, far away." I wonder if he knows what I'm not saying. That my parents and his parents are both physically inaccessible but for very different reasons. We played with the basketball, him making sure I got my turn and cheering wildly when I made a basket. I hope it's a breakthrough, I hope he knows he's worth the time, I hope he knows that with God's strength he can overcome his circumstances. I hope he learns to persevere and not give up. Like all my other students my hopes for him are high. Please continue to pray for the Lord's working in his life.

Home

"And wherever you are when you catch glimpses of heaven, you are home." ~ Ann Voskamp

Heaven can be seen in the beauty of majestic African mountains...

Or in the sweet face of a redeemed child...

It is in these moments even when you are a world away from the land of your birth, when you catch a glimpse of what heaven might be like and truly feel home.

Pray for Their Hearts

One of my students who comes from a Buddhist family who is really trying to discover truth.

The school day started off with our normal prayer time. I asked my kiddos what they wanted to pray for and they answered (all in English by the way) mom and dad, everyone, teachers and students, Somo (one of their classmates who was absent), and a little boy in Africa. Several weeks ago I told my kids about a boy in Africa and everyday since then they've reminded me to pray for him. They often call him my little brother and one of my little girls usually reminds me to pray for his house. I haven't ever really understood why she wants to pray for his house...maybe she is worried that he won't have one. Today someone else brought up praying for his house. I was so surprised when my little boy said in English. "No, not pray for house pray for heart!" I stopped in my tracks and told him that he had such a great point. We really should be praying for his heart. I was surprised that this little boy understood something so important.

Pray for his heart.

That reminds me as well to pray for my kid's hearts. To live with their hearts in the forefront of my mind...not the work I need to do or the things my students still need to learn. It was a reminder to me to slow down and focus on the hearts of all those around me. English is just the reason I've been granted the opportunity to speak to their hearts, to tell them that God loves them, it isn't the main reason why I'm here.

Nothing stops my kids in their tracks more quickly than when I teach them about God. They listen because they want to know. Even at such a young age their hearts are crying out for hope and love. They want to know that they are cared for and protected. During a lesson sharing the gospel using a wordless book given to me by a great friend (with the five colors: yellow = heaven, black = sin, red = Jesus' blood, white = forgiveness, and green = growth in Christ) they listened well and comprehended a lot. To help them understand I also used flannel graph pieces depicting the concepts. When they saw the flannel picture of Jesus on the cross everyone of them stared at it and they all had such sadness in their eyes. I don't think that they understand yet what the cross means for them (I'm still learning myself) so please pray with me that they would understand why he died, the fact that He is alive now and offering life, and that they can chose for themselves how to respond.

Romans 10:10

Because we are as grown-ups learning the importance of committing God's precious words to heart we hope to see our kids letting His words shape their hearts. Throughout this school year our kids have been learning the words that call them sinners and short of the standard of a holy God. They have learned that the punishment for that is death. Thankfully for us those aren't all the words. The next words speak of God's free gift which we could never earn or deserve. The words say that whoever calls on the wonderful name of the Lord, confesses Jesus as Lord and believes in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will recieve salvation. These words are life and truth and are spoken in Thai and English in our school and many languages across the world because they are meant for all people.
Hope you enjoy this video of two of my students reciting the most recent verse complete with hand motions. Notice the precious smile missing teeth, the fact that the word righteousness is super hard for a six year old who is just learning English and the Thai alphabet chart on the wall behind the girls.
May we all be as enthusiastic as these little ones when speaking the words of truth and hope.

Why Do You Get Up in the Morning?

At about 2:00am last night in the ER I heard a question that has been rolling around in my mind ever since. It was an unlikely setting and an unexpected question. I was eavesdropping, yes eavesdropping, because when you hear something in English you can't help but listen. Besides that we were sitting in close quarters and doing anything to keep ourselves awake. I heard him ask her, a previous acquaintance of his, "What do you get up for in the morning?" In essence, what do you live for? What in your life is worth pressing on for? She didn't answer immediately and he asked, "Is it just selling your art?" And she answered with just a twinge of defensiveness, "Well, I have my teaching, I teach painting." After that the subject was dropped, but my mind dwelt on that.



What do I get up for in the morning? How would I have answered that question? Would I have said that I live to teach my students? Would I have said that I get up because I have a huge to-do list that needs conquering? Would I have said that I don't really know why I get up...it's just something I have to do? Would I have been brave enough to try to explain the true motivation behind my life...would I have been honest enough to admit that sometimes I lose sight of that truth?



Could I explain how my life was given meaning two thousand years ago when a perfect man who was the Son of God died a sinner's death upon rough wood...and that when He did that He saw me? Could I explain that although I was just as lost as everyone born into this dark world a gracious Savior redeemed my pitiful life. He clothed me in His righteousness...a gift that I could never earn or deserve. Would I have the words to say that I live to know Him...that everyday is an opportunity to walk with Him? That the life He leads me on is an adventure...one that is not always certain but is always secure. That I follow His voice and I turn when He tells me to, that my life is not my own. That I am so thankful I have a higher purpose than myself or my dreams. Would he understand that I'm a bond servant by choice to the King of the universe? That my days, hours, minutes, and seconds are for His glory.



I myself am only beginning to understand these truths and beginning to grasp the blessed fact that nothing in this life is because of my adequacy or power...all of it is by His surpassing power, by His mercy, by His strength. Which is truly good news for me.

More Than a Statistic

There are two students at our school, a brother and sister, who I have known are on a pretty big scholarship. Big deal. Most of the students at our school are on a scholarship of one kind or another. Today I found out why these two are able to come to school paying only a fraction of the actual cost. Their only mode of transportation is also their business. Their dad is a song taw driver. He makes between 300 and 400 baht per day. Which is about $12. However, gas costs about 200 baht per day, meaning that the total income is about $6. A family of four survives off of roughly $180 per month.

(Song taw)

Now transition with me...

It is estimated that the number of prostitutes in Thailand ranges from 800,000 to 2 million.

Rhode Island's population: 1,053,209. There are more prostitutes in Thailand than there are people in the state of Rhode Island.

Approximately 20% of these prostitutes are 18 years old or younger

Thailand is currently called the Disneyland of Pedophiles.

There are up to 600,000 cases of AIDS.

There are 1,300,000 Orphans in Thailand

Sex work has been become "normalized" in Thailand

Thai women believe that prostitution reduces cases of rape.

Back now to my student: my bright, beautiful, friendly little first grade girl. What does her future entail? When do her parents get tired of barely making ends meet and decide they need her to help make a little extra money? At what point does that become a decision a parent, a Buddhist parent with no hope, would make?

And then I think about the over one hundred children I have met face to face, who I've laughed with and talked with who have been rescued from this life of hopelessness and cruelty. Each child with an unimaginable past. One, a girl who at 5 years old was nursing her mom as she died of AIDS. Who after her mom passed away, was passed around her village, with no one taking her in, caring for, or loving her. Another a girl whose father was killed in an opium deal gone wrong, and whose mom now works in Bangkok as a prostitute. A third, a boy with scars on his face from his battered childhood and hidden scars from sexual abuse by foreign men. I then I think of the millions more who will never be rescued, and it breaks my heart.

Odds are stacked against them. Odds are stacked us as we try to fight for their freedom. However, the Lord has put on our hearts the desire to join these precious children in this battle. Our weapon of choice...education. "Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army." Edward Everett. However, the ultimate battle is for their souls and is won only by the power of the love of Christ which we seek to impart as we teach each day.

Please pray that The School of Promise will be a safeguard of liberty, educating children so as to break the cycles of poverty and oppression that hold so many. Pray that The School of Promise would bring hope into the lives of our students as well as their parents through the truths of the gospel. Pray that the girls who attend our school will see their value before God. Pray that the boys at our school would grow into men of God who treat women with respect and lead their families in paths of righteousness. Pray that each child will come to know Christ and walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.

Waters Gone By

The following song is one of my very favorites and will always remind me of my time in Thailand.

Waters Gone By

by Shawn Lewis

You will lift up your face without shame
You will firmly stand with no fear inside
You will surely forget your troubles and pain
Recalling them only as waters gone by

If you put away the sin in your hand
And allow no evil to dwell
If you devote your heart
And stretch out your hands to Him

You'll be secure for there is hope
And you will safely take your rest
You will lie down
With no one to make you afraid

But the eyes of the wicked will fail
Darkness gives way to morning's light
Life will be brighter than noon day
As the waters go by into the night

I will lift up my face without shame
I will firmly stand with no fear inside
I will surely forget my troubles and pain
Recalling them only as waters gone by