Trapped by Words

I read a blog recently by a really neat lady about words. The power of words, the necessity of words, the importance of making our words ones that strengthen those who hear.



That haunts me.



Why? Because I live in a country without words. I go through my day with the ability to both give and receive very few words. The words I intake are usually hard earned and slightly misunderstood, same story with the words I give. If people understand my words it's because both of us are really making an effort to communicate.



How do you build relationships without words? How do you let people know you love them when you can't really listen and understand them and when you are not able to give words of comfort or encouragement? There are no words to describe the feeling of being trapped knowing that you cannot understand or be understood. The constant rumbling of words in your mind trying to find the right ones in the right tone to convey to the person what you would like to eat...forget about matters of real importance.



Talking about the absolute importance of building relationships with people in our community I feel so overwhelmed. I don't know how to do that without words...showing up is a good start...but it's not enough.



So, I'll keep trying to talk with the muu ping (pork on a stick) man in a field who asks where I'm going and tells me that he hasn't seen me before. I'll try to answer his questions in words he understands so that he knows I am making an effort to be friendly. And maybe... just maybe... someday they'll know. They'll know we came because our hearts ache for them, that our desire is that they know the same saving love of Christ we do, that we just want to walk through life with them on a journey to know our Savior more.

Every Moment

Standing at the end of one year and gazing into the next is always a new and exciting time. Somehow it feels like we get a fresh start...at the people we want to be, at the things we want to be our habits, at the possibility of making life go as we think it should.

As we start this new year I've been reminded again of the obvious truth of what Jesus accomplished on the cross. I confess that sometimes I have the mentality that God loves me according to what I do, how good I am, how well I follow Him, what I sacrifice. I have been convicted yet again of how arrogant and how wrong that line of thinking truly is. Standing on the threshold of a new year I'm thankful that the Lord loves me in spite of the fact that I am not who I want to be, that many of the good habits I would like to claim I cannot, and that I cannot control circumstances in my life. I'm so humbled and grateful that He has taken me as I was, as I am, and as I will be. His love doesn't waver based on my goodness, it is grounded in His everlasting and perfect goodness. He has justified me and called me righteous in His eyes...I could never earn that...never in a million years. As the years go by He slowly teaches me how to walk like my Savior. What a gift, knowing that every day of 2011, come what may, His love will be just as strong every single moment.

Why Do You Get Up in the Morning?

At about 2:00am last night in the ER I heard a question that has been rolling around in my mind ever since. It was an unlikely setting and an unexpected question. I was eavesdropping, yes eavesdropping, because when you hear something in English you can't help but listen. Besides that we were sitting in close quarters and doing anything to keep ourselves awake. I heard him ask her, a previous acquaintance of his, "What do you get up for in the morning?" In essence, what do you live for? What in your life is worth pressing on for? She didn't answer immediately and he asked, "Is it just selling your art?" And she answered with just a twinge of defensiveness, "Well, I have my teaching, I teach painting." After that the subject was dropped, but my mind dwelt on that.



What do I get up for in the morning? How would I have answered that question? Would I have said that I live to teach my students? Would I have said that I get up because I have a huge to-do list that needs conquering? Would I have said that I don't really know why I get up...it's just something I have to do? Would I have been brave enough to try to explain the true motivation behind my life...would I have been honest enough to admit that sometimes I lose sight of that truth?



Could I explain how my life was given meaning two thousand years ago when a perfect man who was the Son of God died a sinner's death upon rough wood...and that when He did that He saw me? Could I explain that although I was just as lost as everyone born into this dark world a gracious Savior redeemed my pitiful life. He clothed me in His righteousness...a gift that I could never earn or deserve. Would I have the words to say that I live to know Him...that everyday is an opportunity to walk with Him? That the life He leads me on is an adventure...one that is not always certain but is always secure. That I follow His voice and I turn when He tells me to, that my life is not my own. That I am so thankful I have a higher purpose than myself or my dreams. Would he understand that I'm a bond servant by choice to the King of the universe? That my days, hours, minutes, and seconds are for His glory.



I myself am only beginning to understand these truths and beginning to grasp the blessed fact that nothing in this life is because of my adequacy or power...all of it is by His surpassing power, by His mercy, by His strength. Which is truly good news for me.

Depraved Indifference

These are powerful words...life changing actually.

The Least That's Due

Befriended, befriended by the King above all kings
Surrendered, surrendered to the friend above all friends
Invited, invited deep into this mystery
Delighted, delighted by the wonders I have seen
This will be my story
This will be my song
You’ll always be my Savior, Jesus
You will always have my heart
Astounded, astounded that Your gospel beckoned me
Surrounded, surrounded but I’ve never been so free
Determined, determined now to live this life for You
You're so worthy my greatest gift would be the least You’re due"

This is a beautiful song by Matt Redman and when I heard it last month for the first time, it just about brought me to tears. Especially the line, "You're so worthy my greatest gift would be the least You're due." You know, sometimes I get consumed with the weight of sacrifice or the cost of following Jesus. Well...what I consider weight and cost. Recently, I realized the gift I hold out in shaking arms thinking "Lord this is my everything, this is my all, this is the most I can give" that huge (in my eyes) gift, it's the least He is due. How I owe so much more, how I wish I could give so much more. Yet I know He receives my minuscule gift...my life... and He promises to refine, to purify, and to strengthen it until it is a gift fit for a King. What grace, what love.

Mouse...Really?

Being in Thailand I have done many things I never thought I would do or could do, and tonight was another random one.

***

I grew up in the mountains and there were always mice...not a big deal. Sometimes frightening sometimes pitiful they were just a fact of life. Last year about this time we had a creepy Christmas mouse that visited our house for the holidays and terrorized us by jumping on us from the cabinet, eating our food, and taunting us by running around our house while we tried to capture it. Needless to say in the end we were victorious even though a few geckos did die in the process.

***

Fast forward to this year...

Our washing machine has flooded our back room twice, sure the room needed mopping, but sweeping out the water is not my favorite way to spend an evening. After the first time we noticed the hose that drains the washing machine was chewed up and laying on the ground. Our suspicion was that the descendant of last year's Christmas mouse had returned to haunt us. However, we called the landlady and she sent some repair men to fix the problem. Our conversation with them went something like this:

Nice repairmen: "Badikadk akd akdj kadlk."
Me: {I don't recognize those words but I'm sure it has to be another way to ask what's wrong with the washing machine...maybe it's Northern Thai.} "Naam auk." (Translation: water comes out.)
Nice repairmen: "Aldkajdfk akdlfakd lakdjie." (Translation: Yeah, the hose came out of the wall...that makes water come on the floor.)
Me: "Chi, dia khit waa... sat kin." (Yes, I see that but I think the hose is eaten by an animal.)
Nice repairmen: "Nuu." (Translation: mouse)
Me: "Chi." (Yes.)
Nice repairmen: "Khray auck kadl?" (Translation: Which one of you pulled the hose out of the wall?)
Me: "May mii khray." (We didn't do it. )
Nice repairmen: "Pen luuk." (Translation: It must have been your child.)
Me: {Should I explain that we don't have children?... No...} Pause...
Nice repairmen: "Ban haa pen array?" (Translation: What is actually wrong with the machine?)
Me: "Naam auck." (Haven't we established the fact that the water comes out, flooding this room?)
Nice repairmen: "Akdjfad daklkdj idaokjf?" (Translation: So there isn't anything wrong with the machine?"
Me: (Other than the fact that the. water. comes. out. no.)
Nice repairmen: Look at us strangely, stick the hose back into the wall and say goodbye. As they are walking out the door we heard them commenting about us. "Dalok lee dii jai." (Translation: They were funny and nice.)
Us: Did we really just have that conversation, and how stupid do we feel right now?

***

The liquid sloshing around our feet after the next time we did laundry confirmed that yes, merely sticking the hose back in the wall was not super helpful.

***

Then tonight...we get home from Bible Study and my roommate asks, "Did one of you put an apple behind the washing machine?" Answer: "Of course, we love to store apples behind the washing machine." We all go look behind the machine and yes there is an almost half eaten apple sitting behind the washer next the troublesome hose. The thoughts start rolling from there. "How in the world did an apple get behind there?" "Did we have one on the table in the other room and did a mouse really dribble the it all the way in here to its favorite entrance point?" "How big is this thing anyway?" After a little while of being completely disgusted by the thought of what must have happened...we came up with a plan.

***

Plan A:
Put peanut butter and mouse poison on the little edge inside a plastic water bottle.
Jam the water bottle into the hole the washing machine hose keeps getting knocked out of.
Place paint bucket behind the water bottle to help keep it in place.
Hope that what...? The mouse eats the poison and dies in our wall? The water bottle stays in place? I don't know. I'm not sure what to do about the hose which is now almost entirely eaten by whatever this hungry creature is. Maybe we'll just call the super helpful repairmen again...it was such fun the first time around...

Doi Inthanon

November 26th. The day after we made thankful turkeys with our kids. The day after we gathered together with an unlikely assortment of people to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. The day we spent on a special trip with Nida, the 4th grade Thai teacher and her family. She invited us to travel to Doi Inthanon, the mountain on which she and her husband grew up and still call home. We had a wonderful day visiting waterfalls, pagodas, villages, and the highest spot in Thailand. We thoroughly enjoyed a picnic at the base of a waterfall, seeing the little shop in her cousin's village where they weave beautiful creations, and buying fresh vegetables from a local stand. We are so thankful to have been able to spend the day with these friends and feel privileged to be given a glimpse into the land they call home.

These are just a few memories from the day. Click on the picture to enlarge the pictures.